Our inner dialogue plays a huge role in our mental health and how we see ourselves.
In my first podcast episode I spoke to social and emotional learning consultant, Jocelyne Chirnside, about our inner dialogue and the words we use.
Did you know that 85% of the thoughts we have every day are negative? And 90% of those thoughts are the same ones we had yesterday.
The way we talk about ourselves to ourselves and to other people shapes the way we feel and what we believe about ourselves.
Talking to mindset experts over the last few months around dialogue and the power of words, I’ve identified three words in my vocabulary that are negatively shaping the way I see myself, the way I present myself to others and may be slowing down my growth.
These three words I have deleted from my vocabulary forever!
1. Small
When I would introduce myself to people I would say I run a small videography business.
The way I said it made me sound like I wasn’t very confident in what I was doing and that I didn’t appreciate my own knowledge and skills. How could I expect anyone else to appreciate and respect what I did if I couldn’t appreciate and respect it myself?
After I was pulled up on calling myself a ‘small videography business’ I caught myself saying it all the time, in the forms of ‘little project’, ‘small setup’ etc. while I was talking about the things that were the most important to me.
Confidence starts in the words we use.
It felt wrong to think about myself as anything larger than, well, small. This belief would make it much more difficult for me to grow if I didn’t do something about it.
So, I’ve cut ‘small’ and ‘little’ from my vocabulary when I’m talking to people about what I do and the projects I have going on. Forever!
2. Just
The word ‘just’ can devalue whatever follows it.
I was always saying things like; ‘I’m just writing some content’ or ‘I’m just doing a blog post’ or ‘I’m just editing a video’.
These ‘justs‘ make whatever follows seem like it’s not really that important or valuable.
The last thing we want to do is devalue our skills to our clients, or, especially to ourselves.
There is no such thing as ‘just’ working on my business. Just has gone to join small in the banished lands.
3. Try
In the great words of Master Yoda, “Do. Or do not. There is no try.”
If we say we are going to try to do something, deep down we might not actually be serious about doing it.
The tasks that we try to get done are the ones that keep appearing on our to-do list day after day, often because they don’t hold a lot of value, they are uncomfortable, or they are downright painful.
When it’s a case of procrastination, the tasks that are the most painful to complete are put off until it is more painful to put them off any longer. For example when a deadline is too close for comfort.
If we say we will try to achieve a goal by a certain time frame, it’s perfectly okay if we don’t get there. We tried.
If we express how we will achieve that goal by a certain deadline, it’s much more painful if we don’t make it.
But think about how much more powerful it feels it decide ‘I will’, rather than say ‘I’ll try’.
Goodbye, try. You can go and join your friends small and just.
Are you using these words in your daily dialogue? Do you have others I should add to the list?
Drop a comment below about your experience with shifting your dialogue. I’d love to hear your story.